Sweet Baby Jesus That’s Hot

The night I went to Wu Gong’s and ate the chicken feet I was with my friends Ben and Sam. There is a sign hanging from Wu Gong’s wall of these super spicy hot wings and we have always mentioned to one another that we wanted to try them. Ben decided that it was finally time to try them and ordered two skewers of extra spicy hot chicken wings. Not wanting to be outdone I decide to order one myself to go along with my chicken feet.

Now I had come to believe that I had a fairly high tolerance level for spicy foods. I love Tabasco sauce. I like to put it on most foods I eat. I even had my mom bring some Frank’s Hot Sauce all the way to China when she visited. But I was no where ready for whatever type of secret mystical Asian super spice Wu Gong put on. When they came and I tasted them it was as though they came straight from hell. I had never tasted anything so spicy, so out of control spicy. Every time I breathed it got hotter, making my lips burn. I started to laugh because it hurt so much but every time I sucked in breath my lips burned even more.

By accident I rubbed my eyes. Bad move. My eyes started to water and burn making me rub them even more. I was about to rub my face before Ben and Sam reminded me not to.

Ben took it like a champ. He is a southern Louisiana boy, so while he was sweating a little bit, he was not screaming out in pain like a little girl the way I was. Sam was laughing is ass off seeing me like that.

Later that night, Sam ordered some beef and then stepped outside to get a drink. Thinking on my feet and wanting Sam to share the same experience and pain that I had just gone through I quickly told Wu Gong to put the super hot spice on one of Sam’s beef skewers. As Sam returned he was oblivious to the fact that we spiced up one of his beef skewers. The first skewer he grabbed turned out to be the spiced one. (I made sure I had my camera on me and that it was recording.)

The next day I after the food took its course through my body I went to the bathroom. Once I was done in the bathroom my butt began to burn. Apparently the spices from the chicken went in one end and out the other, making my butt hole pay the price. It was tingly for a good 20 minutes. I guess this was a sign from above that I shouldn’t eat super spicy foods.


About JoelS

Spending a year teaching English and saving the world in China
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